"Did you decide to take the job?"

If I only had a dollar for every time I heard that question in the past week.

No, I didn't, but the door is still open. The principal said unless he finds someone to fill it, his offer stands. As of this morning, the position is still available.

I have prayed about this. I have talked to moms that work. I've talked to moms that stay home. I've talked to moms that work part time. I've talked to everyone. No one has had the answer, but true to form, the answer came to me yesterday.

Sunday morning I did something I had never done before. I dropped Barrett off at the nursery at church. I was shocked at how easy it was. I walked away almost feeling guilty for not feeling guilty. He spent three hours there while I went to church and taught Sunday school. When I went to pick him up, he was as happy as could be. One of the nursery workers was snuggling him in a rocking chair. He almost seemed irritated that I interrupted.

I know that you might be thinking that I realized that day care for four hours a day wouldn't traumatize him, and yes, I did realize that. But, I also realize that his lack of missing me, made me sad. I know it's good that he doesn't mind being with other people, but I don't want to become the second mom to someone else who gets him during the day. That was strike one against the job.

Strike two:

I am really lucky that I can swing and play with Barrett all day if I want to.

Strike three:

I found out yesterday that my church will be offering mother's day out for 12 month old children next year. They have to be 12 months old as of September 1st, Barrett sneeks in with a good 15 days to spare. So, instead of going back to work, I will take Barrett to mother's day out two days a week starting next September. It all works out. I can even volunteer at the church during his school day if I want to stay close.

So, that would be three strikes. I officially do not want to work. What was I thinking even considering it?????

Barrett Meets a Barrett!

Yesterday, Barrett and I ventured to see old friends. We visited the first school I ever taught at, and it was great to see the people that I taught with. It's amazing how much you don't appreciate what you have until it's not yours anymore. If I could go back there and teach, I would in a heartbeat. Although, I don't think the hour commute would be any fun.

Barrett and I then headed to Sybil's house. Sybil was in my class in fifth grade, and she is now a senior. While we were there, Jackie, another former student, came to see us too. While this may not seem like a big deal, it was for me. Jackie Barrett is a very important to our family.

Jackie was one of the cutest little fifth graders. She made a lasting impression on the first day of school because she had an incident with the zipper on her "first day of school" outfit. I ended up fixing it for her while trying to tell her it would be ok. Maybe it was the traumatized look she had on her face or maybe it was the humor that only I saw in that moment, but Jackie has been special to me ever since.

In the Fall of that school year, Jackie's family was told her dad had ALS. Jackie was the oldest of their four children with the youngest being a newborn. When I was talking to Jackie about her dad, she told me everything was going to be ok because they were praying for him. To be honest, I was horrified that anyone would tell her that prayer would fix him. (My faith at that time was non-existent.) After more conversations with her, I realized that she didn't know if God would fix him, but she trusted in God's will. Those were not her words, but that's what I took from what she would say. It was then that I began to be interested in Him.

Jumping way ahead to a couple of years ago:

When Doug and I were told we needed to see a fertility specialist I was scared. When I was praying that evening, I started with my typical prayer for the Barrett family before I ventured in to my conversation with God about my own fertility issues. Throughout our entire adventure in the infertility world, it was the Barrett family's faith that kept me going. Somehow I felt like if they trusted Him with their dad, I could trust Him with this.

After I found out I was pregnant and I made it past the first trimester, I started thinking about names for the baby. Doug threw out Doug Junior, Fritz, and others just to annoy me, and I went straight to a book and started highlighting little girl and boy names.

A few weeks later, I noticed that every night I was praying for the Barrett family and my baby. Then, something clicked. I woke Doug up and I said, "What about Barrett?" Since he was asleep, his reply was something like, "Huh, the Barrett's, what are you talking about?" After clarifying what I was talking about, he said, "Can I call him Bear?"

So, before we even knew if we were having a boy, Barrett already had his name.

In May, Jackie's dad passed away. While I was at his memorial service, Barrett was kicking and loving the music. Everything seemed so wrong and right at the same time. I listened to people talk of how Jackie's dad inspired so many with his amazing faith. I am so sad that the Barrett family lost their dad, but I am so thankful that Jackie, with her broken zipper, entered my classroom.

Jumping, Teeth, and a Close Up

I have been trying to get a picture of Barrett's two teeth to post, but he has been less than cooperative. Finally tonight, I was able to capture them on film. (Please ignore the pimple Barrett has on his lip. I could say it's his Cindy Crawford mole, but that would be a lie.)


Here are a couple of pictures of him enjoying his Johnny Jump up thing. He refuses to have his hands out of it, and he likes swinging in it more than jumping. The close up was an accident. I was taking pictures and he swung right up to the camera. I think he is adjusting to the insane number of pictures I take of him.

Nextel Sucks!

I hate Doug's phone. I hate the beeping. There is nothing more annoying than the beep-beep of nextel.

It beep-beeped when I was in labor. (Doug did finally turn it off, but only after I threatened his life.)

It beeps until all hours of the night.

It beeps when we're eating dinner.

It beeps all weekend long.

It starts beeping by 6:30 in the morning. This morning, the first beep-beep was at 5:47 a.m.. Who needs anything that early?!?

Soon, very soon, there will be no more beep-beeping. (I'll blog more on that later.)

In other news, I was offered a part time teaching position starting in two weeks. I am completely on the fence about this. I love teaching, and I would even be teaching some of my old students. On the other hand, I love Barrett. I am supposed to make a decision today. So, today I will be thinking.

(Cindy, you don't need to comment. I know what you want me to do.)

The Rolling Process

When I was pregnant, I was amazed at how difficult it was to roll over. I joked about it being a multi-step process to making my swollen body go from laying on my left side to my right. It was one of the little things in life that I didn't appreciate how easy it was for me. Sometimes now when I roll over at night, I giggle remembering how hard it was for me. I didn't realize that that was the second time in my life that rolling was a major ordeal, until now.

Learning to roll over is hard. Barrett has mastered it, but he still has to think about his steps. You can see him thinking as he rolls! I thought you might like a look into his latest trick.

First, he lays happily on his back lifting his feet in the air.

Next, he flings his legs to the side.

Then, he rolls all the way on his tummy. He always has an issue with the arm stuck under his body. Sometimes, he gives up and rolls back, sometimes, he figures it out.

This time he decided to try. He fussed for a while trying to yank his arm out from under him.

He was then successful! Every time he completes a roll, he'll hold his head up and you can tell he's proud of himself. (Maybe it's our cheering!)

Other news: Tooth number two on the bottom has now appeared which explains the "wonderful" mood he has been in all week.

Still a Rebel

Well, it appears that Barrett is still a rebel almost a month after I pointed out his unique way of pacifying himself.

And... In case you were wondering, when he rolls himself over, he still manages to suck his fingers upside down. He's so talented! :)

Cookie Dough, Rolls, & a Sweet Tooth

Everyone I talk to about the dreaded baby weight says it all comes off easily except the last 10 pounds. I was determined not to be one of those people. So, as Barrett approaches being 5 months old, I'm amazed that my obviously broken scale says I am still weighing 10 pounds extra. Because of this annoying ten pounds and the odd flab that came with it, I have recently decided to eat better and exercise more. Anyone who knows me well, knows exercise isn't high on my list, so I've focused more on the eating right.

Then tonight, I made a fatal mistake. I decided to clean out the frig. I was busily throwing out vegetables that were growing on their own, left overs that are more a science experiment than they are food, and various packages of cheese that have turned green, when I found my nemesis, Pillsbury sugar cookie dough. I had bought it to make cookies at Christmas, and I only used half of it. Being confident it had "gone bad" I held it over the trash bag, but it was just too wasteful to not check and see if it was still good. Since I have eaten probably the equivalent of a dozen or so cookies, I have to say it is still REALLY good! I'll go walking tomorrow...

Now on to today's big events.

Barrett had a HUGE day!

We started by sleeping all the way until 7:45, so mommy was in a very loving mood when Barrett woke up. When I went to change his diaper, he was screaming for his morning bottle. (He does that every day!) As he screamed, I noticed something white in his mouth. I figured it wasn't left over spit up curd because he hadn't eaten in 12 hours, so I looked closer. Barrett officially has gotten his first tooth! As soon as it is far enough in to see better, I'll try and get a picture to post.

As if that wasn't enough excitement for one day, there's more!

We went over to Cindy's house to play, and Mary another friend from church brought her two daughters over. Her younger daughter, we'll call Izzy, is only about 5 months older than Barrett, but being the chunker he is, they weigh the same. In Tubby's defense, Izzy is small for her age.

Barrett was laying on the floor watching Izzy walk and play. (I know, she's too little to walk, and it is so fun to watch her!) Izzy then started walking and crawling on the mat thing Barrett was laying on. All of the sudden he flipped from his back to his tummy, and then from his tummy to his back. I've been saying all along that he probably could do it, but he just didn't have a reason. Now, he has a reason, and her name is Izzy. I think he was trying to show off. What a typical man! So, I think Barrett might have chosen his first little girlfriend even though she was way more interested in putting all the toys in her mouth, and he fell asleep before she left.

What a fun and eventful day! Hopefully tomorrow will be much less exciting. I'd hate for him to do too much too fast!

Tummy Time!

Doug Finally Won!

Since Barrett was born, Doug has begged me to cut Barrett's hair. I refused because for some reason someone decided that the first haircut is a really big deal. Barrett's baby book even has a special page just for the big event. I have no idea why it is so important, but like all other mothers, I want to take pictures and video the entire time. I also want his first haircut to be at a ridiculously overpriced child's hair place so Barrett can sit in one of the cute car/train/horse seats.

So, every time Doug complained that he hated the section of hair Barrett had hanging down on his collar, I just changed the subject. Amazingly, this worked until recently.

When Barrett was born he had quite a bit of blond hair that stuck up all over the place, including out past his collar. Everyone commented how funny and cute it was except his conservative daddy. Then the cradle cap made something terrible happen. Barrett has lost most of his baby hair on top of his head where the cradle cap was and new blond hair is slowly growing back, but since the cradle cap was not in the back, his long hair didn't fall out. Then someone, somewhere made the comment that Doug couldn't take...

"His hair looks like a mullet!"

Doug then cut his hair. So, there are no pictures of my son's first haircut, no cute chair, no screaming and crying, just one happy dad.

Honestly it does look better. I did manage to save the hair in a baggy for his baby book. (That is another thing I REALLY don't get why it's done!) So, his daddy won this battle, but it did take him four and a half months.

I'm Still Hungover...

Christmas this year wore me out. I feel like I am hungover from the holidays. I'm pretty sure it's a result of the chaos that the holidays inevitably bring since I only had 2 beers on New Year's Eve.

So, while I work to get my life and Barrett's schedule reorganized, I've taken a little blogging break. I'm sorry for the lapse in updates, I'm sure I'll be back to me soon.