If I only had a dollar for every time I heard that question in the past week.
No, I didn't, but the door is still open. The principal said unless he finds someone to fill it, his offer stands. As of this morning, the position is still available.
I have prayed about this. I have talked to moms that work. I've talked to moms that stay home. I've talked to moms that work part time. I've talked to everyone. No one has had the answer, but true to form, the answer came to me yesterday.
Sunday morning I did something I had never done before. I dropped Barrett off at the nursery at church. I was shocked at how easy it was. I walked away almost feeling guilty for not feeling guilty. He spent three hours there while I went to church and taught Sunday school. When I went to pick him up, he was as happy as could be. One of the nursery workers was snuggling him in a rocking chair. He almost seemed irritated that I interrupted.
I know that you might be thinking that I realized that day care for four hours a day wouldn't traumatize him, and yes, I did realize that. But, I also realize that his lack of missing me, made me sad. I know it's good that he doesn't mind being with other people, but I don't want to become the second mom to someone else who gets him during the day. That was strike one against the job.
I found out yesterday that my church will be offering mother's day out for 12 month old children next year. They have to be 12 months old as of September 1st, Barrett sneeks in with a good 15 days to spare. So, instead of going back to work, I will take Barrett to mother's day out two days a week starting next September. It all works out. I can even volunteer at the church during his school day if I want to stay close.
So, that would be three strikes. I officially do not want to work. What was I thinking even considering it?????